New Year

"Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment." - Sydney Smith





I've made no formal resolutions, although I have decided to make a few changes in the new year. Do some things differently. Have some adventures. Embrace life more fully.

That sounds like plenty enough to keep me busy!

A Christmas Tale

Twas the night before Christmas,
with few clan in sight.
Just my son and the cat,
all fluffy and white.

The presents were spread
in boxes and sacks,
as the cat lay in wait
to start his attacks.

We then drove through the town
to see all the lights,
oohing and ahhing
at the colors so bright.

Home again soon,
to our shock we did see
the cat had embarked
on a gift-nabbing spree!

There were paper and ribbons
from his toes to his nose.
That cat was a menace
all covered in bows.

We laughed as he ran
down the hallway in dread.
He flew in a flash
under the bed.

No matter, we thought,
as we smiled at his plight.
Merry Christmas to Cat,
and to all a Good Night!

© RW

Journey

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Across the divide
from what was to what will be -
Journey into peace.

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Nurses Most Ethical

This both surprises and delights me. This is a true morale-booster for nurses.

We went into this profession for some reason. It wasn't money. It wasn't glory. We each have our reasons that go much deeper.

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PRINCETON, N.J. (Nov. 24) - For the seventh straight year, nurses enjoy top public accolades in Gallup's annual Honesty and Ethics of professions survey. Eighty-four percent of Americans call their honesty and ethical standards either "high" or "very high."

Salute

"I'm desperate and lonely." That's how I ended a lot of my letters to my mother when I was 13 and in boarding school for a couple of months. (Mother was in the U.S. taking care of something and my father was traveling a lot at the time.)

I sat and read through so many letters that I wrote to her, both at the age of 13, and when I was in college here, in the U.S., and my parents lived in Singapore.

It's like reading someone else's stories. I have such a dim, sometimes zero memory of the events I wrote about. The person writing those letters is far-afield from the person I am today. Some letters make me cry, and some make me laugh!

At ripe old age of 18, I'm writing to my mother that I ache to have a baby. (?!) I'm talking about how hard it is to be a half-child, half-adult, and how I have so many ideas and plans for the future, but feel so confused.

I, as a 50 year old, am astonished at my raw and innocent honesty with my parents. I think about that young girl - lonely in America, so homesick. So much fear and and yet so much hope.

I wish I could go back in time, and change the course that my life took. I really do.

I'm so grateful my mother kept all those letters. It's difficult to explain the myriad of feelings about them. I have a chance to get to know who I was then. I like who I was.

From a letter I wrote to my parents in 1978 -

I'm listening to a Dylan song now which I really like. The lyrics remind me of you, Mother.

'She's got everything she needs, she's an artist. She don't look back.
She can take the dark out of the nighttime and paint the daytime black.
You will start out standing, proud to steal her anything she sees.'

You've got everything you need, Mother - you're an artist.

Just in case you're interested, another line of it goes,

'Bow down to her on Sundays.
Salute her when her birthday comes.'

Mother's birthday is tomorrow. She would have been 80.

I miss her terribly. I'm feeling desperate and lonely for her.

I'm saluting you, Mother.

Portrait

After my mother died last year, I brought home a drawing she had done of me many years ago.

She did portraits of everyone in the family. I like this one of me because it depicts more than a face; it captures something deeper. I see the essence of who I was back then. She knew.
______________________________________

Every morning we must love what is lost in us
and begin again.

Beth Farris

______________________________________

I live in eternity's light with those I love,
bound by the laws of Heaven, the laws of Karma,
the sense and beating of the heart.

Thank God for the here, and the hereafter,
I am part of both.

Judy Collins

Ming

When Ming was a kitten, I bought him a toy with catnip in it. He went batshit crazy over it! It was so deeply disturbing to me that I never bought him another catnip toy.

Now that he's older, and less prone to complete erratic hysteria, I decided to try another catnip toy. This one is a miniature grain sack full of catnip.



He fell deeply in love with it, as you can see. Played with it, hugged it, rolled around the floor with it....you get the idea. Eventually it just ripped from all that loving so I threw it in my waste-paper basket.

Not too long afterwards, I noticed my full waste-paper basket was tipped over and the ripped catnip toy had been gingerly removed and was laying aside on the floor. Now, Ming NEVER gets into the trash, but this apparently was an important rescue mission.

I'm going to have to get him a new one.

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Ming is his sink-bed. This is one of his napping spots and where he usually spends the night.



His cubby-hole basket.



The reluctant close-up.

Fly Away

How it began,
when it will end,
tiny specks, alone.
Sail on the wind,
in silence again,
fly away....home.

What Australians Say

It's interesting to see what some Australians are saying about our election. These are some comments in response to an Australian newspaper's article on Obama's victory.

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Wow, thats a landslide victory for BO....! Now he has to clean up the mess left behind the outgoing Bush adminsitration. I hope he can come up with a plan to fix up the economy and end all military action going on now. America has to fix up its problems in its own backyard before going into the wide world. He may very well be the man to broker peace amongst African nations and the middle east. Good luck to a man whom may be what the world needs.

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Thank god! America has finally looked past the divisive issue of race and all the negative stereotypes associated with it, to realise WHO the best person to lead their country is. At the core of it, that's what the American people want- a change for the better.

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OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEH! NO MORE BUSH!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEH!

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Congrats OBAMA..I've seen a lot of things..but I didn't think I would ever see this in my time...THE 'I HAVE A DREAM SPEECH' HAS COME TRUE...THIS IS HISTORY!!!

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No matter who won in the election, they managed to get rid of that war monger George Bush. Hopefully Obama will concentrate on getting America back on its feet and not try to resolve the rest of the world' problems. Hopefully Obama will look after the home front first then diplomatically assist other countries in need rather than simply declaring war on them. This man appears to have the intelligence and integrity to do the right thing by his country. George Bush just wanted to be "King of the World!"

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This is an exciting time that effects each and everyone of us, Definitely history made today!!! I just hope Obama keeps to his word brings USA out of recession and brings our troops home!!! The fact this is both a political and racial issue only confirms how far we as people have moved forward, yes there still is racism but it is definitely a step in the right direction :)

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The Yanks have finally got it right, it only took 8 years a war or two and a resession to realise they picked the wrong leader.

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Martin Luther King Jr Dream has become true!

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I think it's great thing to see a black president, it looks cool. He dresses smart and is good looking, he make amazing speeches. Hopefully they will take the troops out of iraq and afganistan.

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What a great result! Considering 80% of Americans are white, it is clear race did not place a major part in this decision (that everyone had expected). My faith in Americans has been somewhat restored!

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Thank God. It's about time America voted for someone who uses their common sense.

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I am happy for Obama!!

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I wanted Obama to win, no doubt. But I am sick of it being a black and white issue. Many many white people voted for Obama, many many white people wanted Obama to be the next President, not because he is black! because of the man he is and what he can bring to his country.

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Thank God and please let Him bless America. Obama has a mountain to climb with the mess he has been left. Let us hope that the last 8 years can be polished clean, and America loses its very poor image attained by the Bush administration. When power, greed and tricks are perpetrated, eventually it comes back to roost. The people, for a change, have spoken. What clearer message can be given that the type of behaviour that has existed from Wall Street to Washington has to, and must change. Hooray!!

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I hope more Americans realise now that when they use their right to vote they empower themselves and reduce the power of the corporate elites who have trashed their economy and livelihoods.

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I am very happy for Obama. Unfortunately though, Australia is so far behind, i do not anticipate a non-caucasian prime minister until 2089!!!

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I rejoice in the outcome of the US election. Barack Obama is a young well educated articulated African American who offers change & a new direction.This outcome is much more than just another result, its a promise of change & new directions, at a time when the world really needs new & fresh leadership, not just the US but all the world. Lets hope this bright young man can weld together all peoples of all creeds & beliefs for the much needed common good. God Bless Obama.

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No longer the United States of un-consciousness, maybe the giant can again awaken?

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Well done America. This is the best news for the whole world. Peace at last.......

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The World has - once again - changed. This time, for the better. I, for one, am so glad that America has finally matured. What she does with that newfound maturity remains to be seen. This will, without doubt, go down as one of the most defining moments in history that we will see in a long time.

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We are witnessing history. There has been a black American secretary of state, A black American 4 star general, chief of staff and now a black American president. Abraham Lincolns' signature on the edict of emancipation in the dark days of the War Between the States has run full circle.

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None of us know what the outcome of Obama's election is going to mean we are all just guessing but I do know this. The USA used to stand for something that has been completely lost particularly in the last 8yrs. They cannot talk about freedom and liberty on one hand and continue to foster an ideal that supports Guantanamo Bay and fights wars for money. If they want to regain respect in the international arena they have so much work to do which requires DRAMATIC change.
Obama if nothing else represents a willingness to accept that change is required. I say good luck to him.

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Thank you Sarah Palin for your great service to USA - I dont think Obama could have won without your input.

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Hallelujah - it's finally over. Congratulations to Obama - the best man won. Now can we get back to normality (somewhat). There are more important issues to be covered in the news.

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It's the best news for the world and America.

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C'mon Obama! America needs something new and i think you will be the President to do it! America needs to step out of their comfort zone and try something new! OBAMA!
I cannot believe that I am going to WITNESS the 1st AFRICAN AMERICAN american president in HISTORY .. what an amazing journey !
It's about time the african/american community had a FAIR GO .. who would have thought back in the days of slavery that many, many years down the track an african/american would be the PRESIDENT of the USA ...
OBAMA - WELL BLOODY DONE MATE ! .. I take my hat off to you !

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Was kinda hoping that Sarah Palin would become VP, we haven't had a really entertaining VP since Dan Quayle. (Although George Bush was pretty amusing). Does Barack do funny?

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Be sure, Americans are flavour of the month here in Australia. Americans come on down. We love you!

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Change Has Come

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He said We Can, and We Did.

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Welcome to the White House, Mr. President!!!

Self Improvement

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I have a lot of fun playing around with my images on Photobucket.

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I have a few projects I'm going to start soon.

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Learning American Sign Language.

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Learning Spanish - (this I really do need to learn for my Spanish-speaking-only patients.)

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Tai Chi lessons - (I was first introduced to Tai Chi by my mother, when I was 18.)

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I've been slacking off lately. It's time to get back to focusing on self-improvement.

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~TRA LA~

Half a Century Old

I'm 50 years old but I still feel like a young woman! I'm on this earth for HALF a CENTURY now, (as I often remind my son), but I feel as though I'm in my.... say, thirties? Cognitive dissonance extraordinaire.

When I see photos of myself, I recoil in horror. Who IS that person?! (The above photo was 'fixed' a little, by virtue of Photobucket cosmetology :)

I joined eHarmony to look for a fella. Someone to have companionship with, as I face impending "Empty Nest Syndrome." (I never wanted anyone else in my life while my son was growing up, after his father's death, and a short horrible second marriage, which I'd like Spock to mindmeld out of my memory. I didn't want to risk making a mistake and ruining my son's childhood - more.)

So, yes, I tentatively dipped my toes into the waters of eHarmony. Just to have a look around, see what's what. Maybe find a match?

Maybe I really should have gone with my 'inner age' of 30-something, because all the fellas my age were OLD!!

I finally canceled the eHarmony gig. I wasn't going to make good use of it. Something psychological was holding me back. At first I thought it was ego. But I realized I can't tell what I think about someone by looking at a picture. I have to see them in real life, see the personality, hear the voice. What do they laugh at? How do they treat people? That's the only way I'll be able to find a fella.

Well of course I know that eventually I'd see the personality of a fella on eHarmony if I met up with him. Problem is, I wasn't willing to meet up with anyone. It all seemed too facade-ish. Too much work trying to impress someone on the Internet. Oh, the stress. I couldn't be bothered. I must really be an old fuddy-duddy, afterall.

Mortal Lessons

Dr. Richard Selzer, a physician, gives an account of the way love accepts and bears with other people. He saw love in action between a husband and wife in a dimly lit hospital room.

I stand by the bed where a young woman lies, her face post-operative, her mouth twisted in palsy, clownish. A tiny twig of a facial nerve -- the one that controls the muscles of her mouth -- has been severed. She will be thus from now on.

The surgeon has followed with religious fervor the curve of her flesh. I promise you that. Nevertheless, to remove the tumor in her cheek, I had to cut the little nerve.

Her young husband is in the room. He stands on the opposite side of the bed, and together they seem to dwell in the evening lamplight, isolated from me, private. "What are they?" I ask myself, he and this wry mouth I have made, who gaze at each other and touch each other so generously, so greedily?

The young woman speaks, "Will my mouth always be like this?"I answer her, "Yes, it will. It's because the nerve was cut."

She nods and is silent, but the young husband smiles. He says, "I like it. It's kind of cute."

All at once I know who he is. I understand and lower my gaze. One is not bold in an encounter with a god. Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth. I'm so close I can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate hers, to show her that their kiss still works. I remember that the gods appeared in ancient Greece as mortals, and I hold my breath and let the wonder in.

From "Mortal Lessons", by Richard Selzer, M.D.

Transformations

The last several years have gone by at lightning speed.

So many changes. So many transformations. So much growth.

Living with my teenage son has been an emotional roller-coaster ride.

My own life has been an emotional roller-coaster ride.

We've both settled down quite a bit, but I sometimes stop in my tracks and think, "How did I get here?" - Both psychologically and geographically.

If you'd told me 10 years ago that I'd be living in Texas, I'd have said you were nuts. It's not a place I ever thought I'd put down stakes.

I didn't plan on it. I just ended up here, running away from something else.
In fact, all of my life I've been a tumbleweed.

Circumstances change. That's the one true constant.

Right now in my life, everything seems to be going really well. It's almost too good to be true.

I don't place any trust in anything lasting. We are humans, afterall, and as such, will endure challenges all throughout our time on this earth.

It's an adventure. I'm always looking for something new to do or to study, or to try. What will be next?

I don't know that yet, but whatever it is, I'll be stronger than I ever have been before.

Yes

God Says Yes To Me

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

Kaylin Haught from The Palm of your Hand

Why Nursing?

"Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in the treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life.

You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something.

The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you." ~ John Gardner

Ward in the Hospital in Arles, by Vincent van Gogh

Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. How do I describe why I am a nurse? The quote sums it all up nicely.

I like to help people - that's a given - I don't know why anyone would enter into this particular profession if that weren't at least one of the reasons. But it's more than that too. It has to do with the people. Sick people, who are in a situation which, by its very nature, eliminates the masks and facades and bravado.

It's an artificial environment to be in. I have the role of caretaker and they have the role of the cared for, but the the true gift that comes from the work is the opportunity to get to know the patients and hear their stories. Everyone has a story to tell, and every story is fascinating. Every story is about defeat and victory , about joy and tragedy, and about the human condition on this big blue marble.

I have learned more about human suffering, the ways in which people will cope with such (or not cope) and the indomitable human spirit, than I could ever have in any non-healthcare profession.

I'm just drawn to all things medical. It simply fascinates me. I don't know why. It's in my bones. It all started when I took my first Chemistry class. I fell head-over-heels in love with it. Microbiology followed. That really cinched the deal. Pile my plate high! I ate Micro up with a large spoon. I couldn't get enough of it. Then, true bliss - Anatomy and Physiology!

That was 25 years ago! The rest, as they say, is history.

Our Time is Now

Our time is now - to vote for the best candidate for the Democratic nominee for the Office of the President of the United States of America!

My candidate is Barack Obama.

I'm involved in the campaign and watched the debate last night. Obama's and Clinton's platforms and stance on the issues are so similar one could almost call them duplicative, but Obama inspires more trust and more respect. He doesn't deliver the low-blows that one sees flung around by other candidates who will (apparently) sink to any depths to sway the voters.

He conducts himself with utmost poise and decency. He's smart. He's compassionate. He's spent time in the trenches, helping the poor and disenfranchised, even after having completed his Law degree at Harvard University........... where, by the way, he was the first Black American to be president of the Law Review.

This is a man completely self-built. No silver spoon or famous spouse to aid in his climb to the top. His accomplishments were borne of determination, intelligence and faith. He was brought up by a single mother, after his father left them when Barack was two years old. When he speaks about the struggles Americans face, he does so from personal experience.

He's not going to bullshit anyone with false promises. It's just not in him.

I urge folks to join the cause for a far better America and cast your vote for Barack Obama!

Debut

On this, the 12th day of February, in the year 2008, I make my debut into the blogosphere.

I'm going to be 50 years old this year - Oh My God! Half a century! - and it's time I start being more adventurous. Time's short, doncha know.

My goal for 2008 is to break out of my comfort zone and do things I've always wanted to do. Have some fun. This all-work, no-play existence has become a drudge. You know when you wake up every morning thinking to yourself, Is this all there is?, it's time for a paradigm shift, bigtime.

This blog is only a taste of what changes are afoot.